Good Golly Miss Molly!!!

I must say, that this week on facebook has been quite an interesting one. I have had some pretty good debates with a few people when it came to race and politics. But now, I'm starting to think that I should have listened to an old friend of mine that once told me...you should never talk about politics, race, or religion because in the end it will get ugly. And boy was she right!

I can say that one of my friends, who is a white woman, was civil enough to express her opinions in a thoughtful, agree -to -disagree manner. She doesn't like Pres. Obama's policies, she's a Republican and she tries not to think about race too much. We went back and forth on a few things, touched on a few racial issues; but in the end we both still had mad respect for one another. After all, we know that coming from two different worlds, we just aren't going to see eye to eye on everything. So be it.

But I have one high school chum whose updates have continued to get more offensive and outrageous as the weeks go by. It started with Politics..she's made it more than clear how she CAN'T STAND our President. And now it's about to end with Race...because she truly crossed the line with me on THIS day on THIS subject. This person had the audacity to say that the American Indian was persecuted way more than Black people ever were!!

I read this, I almost lost my religion. Because at that moment, I knew that I was not dealing with a rational, educated person. It was clear at that very moment that everything that I had said over the weeks about it being more than just Pres. Obama's politics that she didn't like was true. That statement alone confirmed that this girl is racist. Point blank.

After all, anybody that knows the history of America knows that no one...NO ONE...had to endure what my people had to endure.

Not to take away from the Indians. Yes, their land was stolen, disease just about wiped them out and they warred back and forth with the white man for centuries.But as I look around this great state of Oklahoma that I currently live in and see the million dollar casinos and thousands of acres of land along with the Indian hospitals and schools, etc that they were given by the government...I think that they've been compensated. Or should I say that at least the government is trying to atone for it's sins again the Native Americans.

But now let's talk about the history of the Black man and woman in this country, since Miss Molly apparently has never learned or cared to know what my people have gone through. Not only has our native land been stripped away from us, but African Americans' were taken away from their land in chains! We were put on boats, stuffed in holes not even fit for the lowliest animal and transported to a place of hate. A good amount of those black people died on the way to America and were tossed overboard without a care in the world. Our women were raped, producing half breed children that still weren't good enough despite the white blood flowing through their veins, yet the key to helping to divide our race for years to come. And they were all beaten and tortured They were slaves, building this country and up and producing vast fortunes for white peoples who didn't even think that they were human.

Lets fast forward to 20th Century when slavery was supposedly over, yet a black man wasn't even supposed to look a white man in the eye. Where Black people were still being sold in a sense and they were being burned alive and hung JUST BECAUSE THEY WERE BLACK! I had 2 uncles that lost their lives to white men simply because they wouldn't stay in their place. Look at the pics that I posted for you! Read a book! Watch a documentary! And then think about who is really coming across more like Hitler. The same Molly is minimizing slavery, Nazis minimized the Holocaust.

Where does she think the children and grandchildren of these murderers and hatemongers are? The hundreds of thousands of people who are still members of hate groups such as the Klan and the Aryan Nation...where does Molly think these people are? Did they all pack up and leave the country when the President was elected? Or are they showing up at town hall meetings and posting messages all over the web. Are they protesting against the President's policies all while trying not to let their sheets hang? Plotting assassinations and beating Black women at Cracker Barrels in front of their children?

I would have to be a fool not to know that all white people are not racist. After all, Black people only make up 13% of the population. It wasn't us that put this man in the white house. I would have to be a fool not to know that there are some Black people that voted for the president simply because he is Black. After all, we have our racists too. But to deny that race has nothing to do with some of the things going on in the political world right not is ridiculous.

Pres. Jimmie Carter is from the south...he knows the south just like I do. And for him to step and say what he said and then have people STILL try to deny it...I have to shake my head.

After all, it's not like Molly went to a high school where everybody was singing We Are the World and holding hands. We had a Black and White EVERYTHING! Prom Queen, Best Dressed, etc. The Confederate Flag flew all over that city. I was the only Black Majorette for our high school, serving under a captain that couldn't stand me for 2 reasons. I was a better twirler than her. And I was Black!

There were times when she would just say the most racist things...like when she talked about how nasty it was that one of her cousin's girlfriend cheated on him with a black boy. Or when she let the N word slip one day. Or when she had to ask her daddy if I could step foot in their trailer for an extra practice...no offense to me but they were just not raised to associate with Blacks. For a long time after that, I didn't even like to hear a white person say the word Black, because people like her made it sound so dirty.

Where are these people Molly? I want her to answer that question. I want her to tell me in detail how the Indians suffered more than African Americans. I want her to tell me what a Socialist is and then tell me what makes the President one. I want her to tell me what was great about George Bush the Undisputed Worse President in History.

And last but not least, I want her to explain how Black people are throwing out the race card that she is so tired of us throwing out; but I want her to tell me,first, who dealt us that race card to even play.

On this day Molly, you need to back up and prove everything that you were so quick to say. Because if you don't, I will make sure that you are exposed for the parroting, simple minded person that you are coming across as.

I Thee Wed

TO THEE I WED

To thee I wed this day

With all my heart, mind and soul.

I promise to love, honor and cherish.

I promise to have and to hold.

I promise in sickness and in health

As long as I live, til death do us part.

To thee I wed this day.

To thee I pledge with all my heart

I promise to keep only you

And forsake all others.

This ring is only a tiny symbol

to let you know that there will never be another.

To thee I wed this day

Before God, we have made it so.

I take your hand, vowing my love

So take mine and never let it go.

There is no “you” or “I” now

For we have joined and become one

Before God and these witnesses today, I thee wed

May this vow never be undone.

MY PRESIDENT IS BLACK...

Okay.. this blog isn't going to be as structured as others, simply because I'm tired but very angry. For the past few weeks, I have had to hold my tongue as best as I could on Facebook when it came to people saying things about our President. Let me clear this up for the first white person that I had to get told 2 weeks ago. Not all Black people voted for Barack Obama because he is Black. We are not all applauding everything that he is doing because he is Black. Now, I won't deny that this is a plus for some of us. It's a plus for me. I never thought that I would see the day. But I have. And I'm bursting with pride. But don't get it twisted. If this man was as "evil" as this woman claims he is, I wouldn't be on his team despite his skin color. And I'll try to forget about his white mother the way most of these racist Americans have to try and put it all on his race.
This particular woman who has so many Black friends...or so she says, is adamant that his complexion is why Black people voted for him. Yet, she had the audacity to say that she isn't racist. Then how did you even come up with this racist assessment? That's like me saying that the white people who didn't vote for him didn't vote for him because their racist. Do you see where this is going?
Now, tonight, I have had the pleasure of hearing someone refer to him as a Socialist. Now, I've already admitted that I do bask in the fact that he is a Black man. And because he is one of our own, I'm very sensitive to what people say about him. Hell, I know what he's up against in this country as it is. But to have another Black person refer to him this way...it pisses me off even more so than if that statement had come out of the mouth of a Klansman.
It doesn't help when this particular Black person should be listed as one of the Biggest Sellouts that I have ever seen! You never see him with Black women. You barely see him with Black men. His entire life is centered around the White culture; yet he's in a Black fraternity. I'm confused! Then for him to go up against the President like this! Even if you, as a Black person, don't like him...you should have enough respect for who and what he is to our people to not put him out there like that.
Some of us are so busy trying to assimilate that we don't have time to reflect and remember who and where we've come from and the people that have paved the way for us to get there. No disrespect to anybody white, but the truth of the matter is...they stick together....so why don't we? Right or wrong? White people know that George Bush was one of the biggest f%ck ups of all time; but most of them aren't going to admit it to the world. They stood behind him for 2 TERMS, trying to give him time and the benefit of the doubt. President Obama hasn't even been president for a year...
To the white people who despise our President....keep it to yourself. We did when it came to Bush! And don't make assumptions when it comes to the Black vote, because even though you SAY you're not racist...what you're spouting tells us differently.
And to the Black people who don't like Obama....keep it to yourself...and then try and muster up some type of respect...after all, he has achieved what we ALL thought was unattainable.
And to the Sellouts that don't like Obama.....there's really nothing that I can say to you....you and Becky have a nice night.

Mama...A Tribute to Mary

MAMA

Even when I deny being like her
Sometimes I admire being like her
Eyes like her. Sized like her
Some say I even smile like her

She's always been there for me
Even when I didn't want her to be, she was looking out for me.
Structured me and nurtured me
She was curt to me even when it hurt her to be.
But she did it all. And it was all done for me.
Not to discourage me, but to encourage me
So that I could be the best me that I could be.

I've had my moments with her
Said some things that I shouldn't to her
Sometimes felt like I didn't deserve her
But I'd never disguise the fact that I love her.

What would I do without her?
Advising me. She's so wise to me.
Who would I be without her?
Taking care of me, and just being there for me.

She was who I am
And I am who she was
She accepts me with all of my faults
And I respect her, despite hers.

Who is this woman?
Why do I praise this woman?
Standing in the mirror, looking at myself
Why does my gaze reflect this woman's?

For you, her name is Deloise, Brenda, Annette, Dollie, Margaret, Lucille
But for me she goes by the name of Mary
In another language she would be, ma mere, mi madre, mi mama, or just mother
She's YaYa She's Grandma. But for me she's just Mommy.

BEAUTIFUL (from The Autobiography of A Black Woman)

BEAUTIFUL

He doesn’t call me beautiful

He no longer admires the kink of my hair, the hue of my skin.

He doesn’t call me beautiful

I am where he has already been.

He doesn’t call me beautiful

My eyes can no longer hide the deep-rooted hurt

He doesn’t call me beautiful

He says our being together would call for too much struggle…too much work.

He doesn’t call me beautiful

My afro, my braids, even my processed hair reminds him of a time in chains.

He doesn’t call me beautiful

He desires one with generations of Black blood on her hands.

He doesn’t call me beautiful

I have too much strength and if need be, I will overpower him.

He doesn’t call me beautiful

Because if I have to, I can do my part and then turn around and do his.

He doesn’t call me beautiful

Even though I have been there when there was no one else.

He doesn’t call me beautiful

Because when he looks at me he sees himself.

If You Don't Know Me By Now....

i have come to realize that Facebook is really an amazing way to socialize. You link up with friends from the past, family that have moved to other parts of the country, people you've never met but are interested in meeting, and even ex-girlfriends of old flames.
Speaking of which...yesterday, I was in a bored phase and decided to log on to facebook to see what was going on with friends. Upon signing in, I noticed that I had a new message in my inbox, so I immediately clicked on it to see who had sent me a message.
Low and behold, it's a blast from the past. A blast from a past that, back then, wasn't so great. But now, when I look back on it, is kind of hilarious in a way because back then I was very young, stupid, and a bit immature.
See, my Freshman year in college I fell in lust with a City Boy. Back in 1995, I thought that it was love; but the truth of the matter is that I was just infatuated. Everything about this boy fascinated me, right down to the fact that he was a drug dealer that lived in the projects with his sister and her young son. I wasn't used to that kind of lifestyle, so when I became exposed to it, in a sick way, I became drawn to it. I didn't want the clean cut college boy walking around in the khakis and Polo shirts. I wanted the city boy, walking around in sagging jeans and Timberland boots with a stash of weed stuck down in them. Yes, I know...
Anyway, after meeting this guy, we quickly became involved. He was my man and I was his girl...or so I thought. He had already told me that he had a baby on the way. Cool...things happen. What he forgot to tell me was that his future baby's mama was his high school sweetheart and that they were still in a timultuous relationship.
So imagine my surprise when on Fair Night, he and I are walking around the fair and are instantly bombarded by a pregnant teenaged girl and her click. She's crying and acting crazy and her friends are eyeing me like they were just waiting for her to give them the word. She wants to know who I am and blah blah blah. Some kind of way, he gets her to leave and we go on to have a nice time riding rides.
A few weeks later, however, he throws a cookout at his home, and his family and friends are all there, drinking, smoking, and doing things that we all knew they shouldn't be doing. He realizes that he needs to run to the store. Of course, he's driving my car, which I have given him free access to since he has no automobile and he leaves. I'm sitting in the house alone, watching tv. Suddenly there's a knock on the door. I answer and come face to face with the baby's mama.
I instantly size her up. After all, everyone associated with him have commented time and time again that I look like his "old" girlfriend. Some even slip on occasion and call me by her name. But as I get a close up, I see no resemblance besides the complexion.
Anyway, She comes in and we take seats right across from each other. I continue watching tv. She watches me. Five minutes go by and then she speaks. She asks me what is my relationship to "him". I tell her we're dating. She then asks are we sleeping together. I tell her that it's really none of her business but then I answer. She's upset and storms out only to wait for his return. He pulls up and she jumps on him. Then he comes in the house and we argue. From that day forward, this became our routine that lasted well over a year.
She found out where I lived, my phone number..I even heard that she had my class schedule. Whenever he was at my house, she would call my phone. Whenever I was at his house, she would show up. One morning we even woke up only to find her standing at the end of the bed. Talk about crazy!
But back then,he had it like that. I was his girlfriend... but so was she. We just didn't know...or maybe we did but just didn't want to acknowledge it.
She would come over at 7 in the morning and I would be leaving for class. Or, I would be on my way to class and drop him off down the street from her house so that he could "see his baby". They even went to the prom together when we were together.
This relationship was so toxic that at one point I wasn't even eating because she and him had me that stressed out. I looked sick! That's when I knew that I had to get away. There would be no more holding me hostage in his apartment for days. No more taking my car and leaving me to walk. No more explanations for why he had to spend his days at her home and every now and then sleep with her to see his baby. Enough was enough.
I left school for the summer and went home to get him out of my system...and I did. The Lord delivered me from evil!
We stayed in contact over the next few years; but only because he didn't know how to let go. I moved on, met the love of my life and the rest is history. Well, over the years he has sent messages through his cousin that's married to my cousin; but I quickly shut that down!
So here we are on Facebook. His ex girl and me. Friends on Facebook. It's been months. But all of a sudden, I get a message from her asking how do we know one another.
When I read this, I couldn't do anything but laugh because there was no way this was a serious question. How do we know one another? I even had to call my cousins, who were my college roommates and witnessed all the drama, to read this to them.
I was told not to even dignify it with an answer. After all, there was no way in Hell this girl doesn't remember me. After all, my name is one of a kind. Secondly, my face hasn't changed that much. And third, you have a baby with this guy. There is no way that you don't remember your relationship with him and everything that he took you through.
I just wrote a one liner and let her know that I met her during an immature phase in my life. Well, she wrote back today and basically said that she couldn't recall me. Thus, I had to blog because I just don't believe that this is true. Please...go to my poll and let me know what you think about this. Is this girl playing games? Or could she really not remember me?

Preference vs. Ignorance

There's no hiding the fact that I have very strong views when it comes to certain issues. If those issues come up in a conversation or are asked about, then I gladly share my thoughts. But I don't think that I've ever tried to force my views on any one;however, if I could, trust me, I would. After all, we all would like for things to be or go our way, whether we're willing to admit it or not. Anyway, while on Facebook a few days ago, I had a chat with an old college buddy of my husband's. (I knew his face from around campus, but I never got to know him personally. Since Darius is so busy and never can stay in touch with anyone, this friend keeps in contact through me.)
Anyway, this particular guy precedes to ask about my husband and then steers the conversation towards hooking him up with one of my friends. Now, I'm a sucker for a good hook up. The only problem is that I never have the right people to hook up. So I tell my husband's friend that I have a few friends that I may can set him up with. And they all reside in Atlanta where he lives. He's pleased. But then he goes on to ask me if Darius has told me about him. Told me what? He asks if Darius has told him that he likes "mixed" looking women. Maybe Latina.

When I read this, I couldn't help but chuckle and shake my head. See, the thing is, I understand that people have preferences. I have preferences. But I always thought..and I'm sure that I'm right...that preference meant that you like a particular group of something, but you like or prefer one over the other. I like all kinds of greens. But I prefer Collard Greens over Mustard or Turnip greens. However, when it comes to this issue, is this a preference?

If you like all women but you prefer a certain group, I guess that would be okay for some people. Beauty can be found in all races. But if you only like a particular kind of woman...especially within your own race...isn't that ignorance on your part? What if this man is brown skinned yet, he admits that he doesn't like brown skinned women and definitely would not think twice about a chocolate sister? What if he said that he refuses to "settle for less"? Is this preference? Or is it ignorance about who and what he is and how he feels about himself as well as his race?

Just to appease my husband's friend, I sent him to the profile of one of my girlfriends who is "light-skinned" with "wavy" hair. He comes back and lets me know that she is OK, but she wouldn't keep him from looking at other women. I guess she was not light enough. He reiterated the "Mixed Look" thing again.

This is when I really started to question this preference thing. It is so rampant in the African-American community. I, along with every other Black person, knows someone who claims to have this preference, I'm sure. But is it OK?
In my opinion, Hell no! I think it's one of many problems we have as a people. How can you, as a person of color, not have love for all representations of yourself. Especially when you discriminate against a person who is your shade of brown! If you are brown skinned, but don't like brown skinned women....what does this say about how you feel about yourself. It would be different if he had said that he likes all Black women, but for some reason, he tends to gravitate towards those of a lighter hue, right? Or am I making this deeper than it is? Somebody please, let me know! Because I'm really trying to wrap my mind around this.

And to my husband's friend, if you are reading this. I am in no way trying to call you out or dis you in any way. I've already told you how I feel so this blog should come as no surprise. And yes, I do have available friends; they just might not be the "right" shade for you.