Preference vs. Ignorance

There's no hiding the fact that I have very strong views when it comes to certain issues. If those issues come up in a conversation or are asked about, then I gladly share my thoughts. But I don't think that I've ever tried to force my views on any one;however, if I could, trust me, I would. After all, we all would like for things to be or go our way, whether we're willing to admit it or not. Anyway, while on Facebook a few days ago, I had a chat with an old college buddy of my husband's. (I knew his face from around campus, but I never got to know him personally. Since Darius is so busy and never can stay in touch with anyone, this friend keeps in contact through me.)
Anyway, this particular guy precedes to ask about my husband and then steers the conversation towards hooking him up with one of my friends. Now, I'm a sucker for a good hook up. The only problem is that I never have the right people to hook up. So I tell my husband's friend that I have a few friends that I may can set him up with. And they all reside in Atlanta where he lives. He's pleased. But then he goes on to ask me if Darius has told me about him. Told me what? He asks if Darius has told him that he likes "mixed" looking women. Maybe Latina.

When I read this, I couldn't help but chuckle and shake my head. See, the thing is, I understand that people have preferences. I have preferences. But I always thought..and I'm sure that I'm right...that preference meant that you like a particular group of something, but you like or prefer one over the other. I like all kinds of greens. But I prefer Collard Greens over Mustard or Turnip greens. However, when it comes to this issue, is this a preference?

If you like all women but you prefer a certain group, I guess that would be okay for some people. Beauty can be found in all races. But if you only like a particular kind of woman...especially within your own race...isn't that ignorance on your part? What if this man is brown skinned yet, he admits that he doesn't like brown skinned women and definitely would not think twice about a chocolate sister? What if he said that he refuses to "settle for less"? Is this preference? Or is it ignorance about who and what he is and how he feels about himself as well as his race?

Just to appease my husband's friend, I sent him to the profile of one of my girlfriends who is "light-skinned" with "wavy" hair. He comes back and lets me know that she is OK, but she wouldn't keep him from looking at other women. I guess she was not light enough. He reiterated the "Mixed Look" thing again.

This is when I really started to question this preference thing. It is so rampant in the African-American community. I, along with every other Black person, knows someone who claims to have this preference, I'm sure. But is it OK?
In my opinion, Hell no! I think it's one of many problems we have as a people. How can you, as a person of color, not have love for all representations of yourself. Especially when you discriminate against a person who is your shade of brown! If you are brown skinned, but don't like brown skinned women....what does this say about how you feel about yourself. It would be different if he had said that he likes all Black women, but for some reason, he tends to gravitate towards those of a lighter hue, right? Or am I making this deeper than it is? Somebody please, let me know! Because I'm really trying to wrap my mind around this.

And to my husband's friend, if you are reading this. I am in no way trying to call you out or dis you in any way. I've already told you how I feel so this blog should come as no surprise. And yes, I do have available friends; they just might not be the "right" shade for you.